I am so.
So.
So.
Tired.
Is this ever going to end.
I am so.
So.
So.
Tired.
Is this ever going to end.
Really want to see,
Northern lights one day.
….
Finally, the year has come, to abit of an end.
I can’t keep running away anymore.
(Source: japanlove)
I think I will never understand, or anybody will never understand how I feel. It is unbearable sometimes, I write it down to just try to reason. I dont want to say anything to anybody because it scares me, ive never told anyone about everything I’ve felt but at least this is just typing whatever I feel. Last few months I dream that same horrific dream about people talking bad about being killed. I get off the MRT thinking that somebody on the train is talking bad about me. I can’t finish my food at home and I can’t get the last few bits down. I can’t sleep without taking pills x 4. I feel sad for a few minutes and cry without realizing. I get palpitations while trying to sleep. Worst of all I try to forget but something triggers everything. How? I can’t seem to fight it for longer than 2 days.
I thought I would be okay, I really did, I really did. But this time I think I need help. Definitely not from you, because I don’t know what has made me this way. And if I had a reason to pinpoint, I blame it on myself, I never knew what I was doing this year and I don’t know who I am now.
When was it, so hard?
submerged in water to survive
maybe that’s how i will survive, because i don’t see any other option now. half-drowning, but my head above the water.
only difference is that a starfish is probably happy there
(Source: , via mochacafe)
How do I let go of something inherent in my character? How do I let go the stress, the need to be something more than what I already am?
Don’t let me,
…that ^ is true, wish I could not give a fuck about many people but somehow I still do.
…people studying late into the night while I keep trying to fight this insomnia, this ride has been no joke, and it’s been one hell of a ride, that isn’t over just yet.
questioning Myself again and again gets horrible but it still gets to me.
I cannot wait, for that moment, even on tuesday, when I shade my last answer bubble on the omr sheet, knowing that this is going to end, at least this year, this is going to end soon. But I need it to end well, I really want to do it. The more you want sth though, the more it’ll slip out of your hands.
I know I can do this.
(Source: leilockheart)
I tell myself:
Everything, is going to be, okay.
(Source: rotmydarling, via clairebrigid)
Losing control
